I must say as the parent of a child mercilessly bullied at a sought after local school by a group of much bigger boys, I found the revelations about New Zealand's newest electorate MP this week very confronting, even triggering. He has now confessed to being "a bit of a thug, and a bully" at school. He sought to make amends with his main victim just before seeking public office. A cynical attempt at tidying up? Possibly. Now further allegations emerge as the week progresses...
A group assault on a younger student by physically much larger individuals can by emotionally and psychologically damaging, long after the actual bruises have healed. The words 'it was a long time ago' mean little to me as I observe at first hand the years it may take to heal and get life really back on track after experiencing the trauma of serious bullying. Things can spin out of control and become very destructive for some time.
Most of us have lived life without feeling the need to beat smaller, weaker people with a weapon as they sleep. What motivates such people to need to dominate others by fear and violence? I have no idea, having been one of the small, quiet people who observed the large, alpha males roaming my school from a distance, operating deftly below their radar. My gift was being invisible and relatively silent, as one of faltering speech. I give thanks I never went to boarding school.
As a Christian of course I believe in the possibility of forgiveness, healing and the transformation of individuals from their former state to something better, both for bully and victim. Things can be made right, and out of brokenness can come healing and new life.
However, I also observe as a pastor and parent, how incrementally slow meaningful change can be. It is a long and patient work. So if the bully as an adult has to suffer for his past sins (crimes actually) so be it. Take the medicine. Perhaps his victims are still suffering? Life has consequences and being voted to public office is an opportunity for humble service, not to be seen as winning another trophy. Scrutiny comes along with leadership.
In the coming weeks we will have the opportunity to vote for local body politicians, and then next year a new government. Let us be prayerful and watchful as we engage with this process. Let us look beyond the shallow name calling, cardboard cutout smiles and smart suits. Let us look beyond the bigoted, bilge-tide of Facebook comments. Let us look beyond the spin and selective application of the truth. Let us look for character.
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